Specialties
Addictions, Trauma & Relationships
Addictions
When the "sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly" just can't seem to do more than creep along and you are barely able to "trudge the road to happy destiny", therapy offers resources and tools to bolster you. Nothing is one-size-fits-all. You are unique and your needs are, too. Therapy, thus, will be tailored specifically to you.
In recovery, you are not only letting go of a drug or behavioral addiction but also a way of life, a means of coping, a go-to, a way of celebrating/mourning/connecting, etc. Simultaneously, while experiencing that void, you are also having to train your brain--science has established that addiction is a brain disease--to create new neural networks to experience pleasure, to tolerate distress, to cope. In short, you are being called to navigate a new way to "do" life. It only makes sense that this would be difficult.
Kudos to you for breaking through denial and taking action to reclaim your life. By virtue of recognizing your limits--by naming your addiction--you are exhibiting strength. Similarly, it takes courage to ask for support, and to do so is also a sign of strength. Taking personal responsibility to meet your needs--and to ask for help if that is what is called for--is the hallmark of maturity and an indicator of health. Get the support you need with therapy--there is no reason to survive when you could thrive.
Trauma
Trauma is a powerful word that is often misunderstood. There are, of course, events and circumstances that are glaring and obvious that do precipitate trauma, such as war, earthquakes and abuse. That being said, relatively less obvious and seemingly less impactful events such as witnessing of abuse, being bullied, being exposed to parents' affairs, etc. may also be registered by the brain as traumatic. In therapeutic terms, those are "Big T," and "little t," traumas, respectively. Interestingly, they equally impact the brain; moreover, "little t," traumas--especially with repetition or prolonged exposure--are more likely to produce Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Indicators that an experience of trauma is unresolved and interfering with daily living are, as follows:
--Constriction: Avoiding people, places and things that remind you of the trauma.
--Intrusion: Experiencing unwanted thoughts, memories, dreams or flashbacks that remind you of the trauma.
--Hypervigilance: An inability to relax coupled with anxiety.
Additionally, manifestations of trauma can take various forms if unresolved. For example, trauma can leave a person feeling shameful, defective, unworthy, and fragmented. It can cause a person to spend their energy engaging in distractions to medicate or numb the related thoughts and feelings. It can cause a person to remain connected to people who are shaming, exploitive and dangerous. These manifestations and more exist that further harm the already traumatized individual and prevent them from resolving the trauma until it is specifically addressed.
Trauma resolution requires specialized treatment: it cannot be resolved via talking. Specifically, the part of the brain that registers and responds to trauma, the limbic system, does not have words; as such, it cannot resolve traumatic experiences--which were perceived via the senses--with words. Utilizing talk therapy with trauma is like using a magnetized door card to open a manual, keyed lock--it simply doesn't work. Thankfully, there are modalities such as Brain Spotting, EMDR, Experiential therapy, Psychodrama, Trauma Focused CBT and Yoga Therapy that directly activate the limbic system and therefore enable trauma resolution.
Relationships
Relationships--whether with friends, family, partners, or spouses--engage two or more individuals with different backgrounds, different experiences, different perspectives, etc. Couple these differences with the fact that, by virtue of being human, each individual has flaws, and there is bound to be conflict and struggle. Thankfully, there is good news: working through conflict together is, in fact, the recipe for health--even intimacy*--in relationship.
Most of the skills and tools that adults utilize are gained as children--being virtual sponges--through social learning. If the adults in your life didn't happen to have fabulous means of coping, of being assertive, of communicating, etc., chances are that you do not have these means, either.** Nonetheless, as an adult, you have the good fortune of providing for your own needs. The net result of meeting these needs as an adult, then is of empowerment: skills and tools can be learned in therapy and are yours to keep thereafter, enabling you to thrive independently.
Our work together, then, will be identifying your goals and related needs. From there, we will work to gain the tools and skills necessary to reap the rewards of connection, belonging, love, acceptance, intimacy and more!
* intimacy meaning into-me-you-see
**Disclaimer: this does not mean that 1)these adults are not wonderful people 2)that they do not love you 3)that you should blame them, etc. The adults of your childhood are flawed humans, too. :)
