Wherever You Go. . .
The present: it is. Life is ever experienced in terms of this moment. It unfolds, second by second, while immutably remaining rooted in the here and now. . . It would logically follow, then, that relevant skills and tools applicable to the realm of the present would both have the greatest utility and be of the most benefit, enabling one to thrive.
Mentally occupying the space of the past and the future comes with risk. For example, guilt and remorse are entrenched in past experiences, the suffering of which is beyond the scope of human ability to redress as the past is, of course, over. Meanwhile, anxiety is anchored in the future, which is also beyond one’s ability to control. Grappling with that which is only conceptual, such as the future, yields nothing tangibly soothing: there can be no certainty with the unknown.* Hence, the present is the wellspring of potential positivity—or, at the very least, serenity.
It may, then, come as no surprise that mindfulness, a practice touted through both modern, evidenced based therapies and ancient, spiritual practices, is grounded in the present. Mindfulness encompasses two seemingly paradoxical tenets: radical acceptance and intention for improvement. There is inherent tension between these principles: one is rooted in the present while the other has an eye toward the future; one evokes acceptance while the other suggests rejection. Nontheless, these two beliefs can be not only reconciled but also simultaneously enacted. Radical acceptance means to embrace what is—which is helpful, in that what exists in this moment, that which is, actually is. Wishing it were otherwise changes nothing. The genius of radical acceptance is captured in the words of a wise person, “Struggle ends where acceptance begins.” There may be no change in concrete reality in this moment, but the net effect of the experience can be positively shifted internally via radical acceptance. Meanwhile, holding an intention is likewise based in a present attitude or strategum—but toward affecting future change, as the present may not be ideal. Having said attitude or strategum can nonetheless be consistent with radical acceptance in that it denotes that life is not static, and that as such, there is room for growth and change.
To validate the utility of mindfulness, consider that feelings, such as excitement or revulsion, do not in and of themselves change circumstances. For example, feeling frustration with cold temperatures does nothing to change either the felt, personal experience of cold temperatures or the physical coldness of the temperature—reality remains that one is frustrated and that it is cold. Radical acceptance, on the other hand, offers the experience of equanimity by way of recognizing that, at present, like it or not, the temperature is and will be, in fact, cold. Moreover, in accordance with the second principle, a concurrent intention could also be of procuring a blanket, moving indoors, finding gratitude that seasons change, etc. This intention can be experienced both as empowering in that it is proactive as well as relieving in that it enables movement toward a desired goal. The two tenets together ensure a sense of reconciliation with reality coupled with volition, resulting in a sense of peace and security—which is certainly an improvement over frustration.
An adage to encourage engagement in mindfulness is, “Keep your head where your feet are.” Literally, one can wiggle one’s toes, press one’s soles to the earth, experience sensations therein of firmness, softness, support, etc., and effectively reconnect with the present moment. One’s feet literally are grounded in the present space. The struggle is doing likewise with one’s thoughts and feelings. This prompt, then, is intended to invite one’s thoughts back to the here and now, where, under most circumstances, one is likely “OK.” (Negative thoughts and feelings may be uncomfortable, yet can, with adequate practice and relevant skills, be tolerated.)***
Given that humans, by nature, are limited, tools and skills are necessitated to flourish. As one’s influence is greatest over oneself, mindfulness, which is directed internally and accessible in the moment, proves to be both a relevant and practical tool. Thus, being equipped with mindfulness, one need not be concerned that, “Wherever you go, there you are,” but rather be confident and wholly present in the present, as expressed, “Wherever you go, go with all your heart.”****
*Humans are the only animal capable of having feelings of anxiety, as they are the only animal with the capability of thinking about the future. Other animals exhibit behaviors that suggest awareness of the future, such as storing nuts or preparing for winter, but this is by virtue of instinct rather than of conscious cognition.
**Notably, this article does NOT promote indiscriminate acceptance of the unacceptable, such as with abuse, neglect, ants in the pantry, etc.. . .That being said, the solution to enacting change still begins with radical acceptance, declaring, effectively, this is what exists in this moment—AND that one CAN hold the intent to effect change to alter the unacceptable immediately.
***Not everything is truly, “OK.” In the event that one is experiencing homicidal or suicidal ideations, severe or persistant depressive or manic symptoms, abuse, neglect, or any impairment that impedes one’s ability to adequately care for oneself or poses imminent danger to others, please seek help immediately. Call 911 or present to your nearest emergency room.
****Both quotes are potentially attributed to Confucious; the former is definitely the title of a book by Jon Kabat-Zin